From his very first breath on May 11, 2001, Tobias Cade “Toby” Becker was loved. His parents, Matthew D. and Rebeca (Becky) E. (Finger) Becker celebrated his arrival, and Toby was cheered by their large and supportive extended family—a practice that would continue for each breath and accomplishment. Toby was smart, charismatic, and handsome, known for his piercing blue eyes and charming side smile. On Tuesday, December 13, at age 21, Toby took his final breath atop a hill he loved.
Toby’s formal education began at Panda Preschool and then continued in the Manhattan Catholic Schools. Matt and Becky invested in a religious education to root Toby in faith, and in the smaller classroom setting he blossomed and grew in confidence. Toby participated in Cub and Boy Scouts and especially enjoyed the pinewood derby and earned the Arrow of Light.
Sports were a cornerstone of Toby’s life from his earliest days of side yard baseball games at “Grandma Choo-Choo’s”, as well as tailgating and attending K-State football and basketball games with his family. As he grew, Toby developed into an outstanding athlete participating in football with the Manhattan Indians and Jaguar Youth Football leagues; traveling basketball with the Mavericks; and, competing in football, basketball, and track at Manhattan Catholic Schools.
Toby’s dad had a bat in his hand from the time he could walk. He began playing traveling baseball at the age of 8 for 2 years with the Manhattan Rangers, and continued to play with the Dirt Devils, coached by his dad, for the next 8 years. The bonds and relationships among this band of brothers, formed through wins and losses on and off the field, would further shape Toby’s love for the game and teach him the importance of having someone’s back.
In 2015 Toby joined the Rock Creek Mustang family, playing basketball freshman year, football freshman and sophomore years, and baseball all four years. It was at Rock Creek that Toby’s hard work and natural talent on the baseball diamond shone most brightly. Toby amassed impressive statistics as a Mustang: tied for 20th all time single season wins with 26 in 2018; 15th all time in a single season RBI with 26 in 2019; 4th all-time in single season ERA with 1.091 ERA in 2019; and, tied for first most wins in a season with 8 wins in 2019. Toby is the only player in school history to throw a complete game no-hitter in the state tournament. He holds the 9th spot in all-time career RBIs with 52; and the 4th all-time wins by a pitcher with 13. Toby was recognized for athletic and academic excellence in 2019. He was named to the first team all-league baseball team and all state pitcher in 2019. Additionally, he was named The Mercury’s 2019 All-Flint Hills Spring Male Athlete of the Year.
Toby graduated from Rock Creek High School in 2019, attended Truman State University on a baseball scholarship for two years, and then transferred to Kansas State University.
Toby was a muscle car enthusiast and had ambitions to launch a specialty fuel station. His most recent passions were online trading, investing, and selling domains. He built a nation-wide network of friends and acquaintances and deepened his love for travel through these entrepreneurial efforts. Toby would light up when explaining the intricacies of his work and interests. He also worked at Target as a general merchandise expert in the pharmacy alongside new friends he appreciated greatly.
Toby was always proud of his brothers, who in turn, looked up to him. Like his father, Toby loved grilling, and took pride in preparing a perfect steak for his mom, Zac, and Drew. When he was healthy, Toby was thoughtful, loving, caring, and giving. Ultimately, Toby drew strength from family and friends, and sought to make them proud.
Toby’s battle with depression and anxiety began in 2015 following trauma no child should have to endure. For two years Toby fought alone, struggling to find appropriate ways to cope. Toby finally sought help, in the spring of 2017, courageously sharing his story and seeking justice. The legal system failed him. With his last words, Toby sought to reassure his family and friends of his love for them, and his sorrow that his brokenness was too much to bear.
With ongoing counseling and support, Toby was able to cope with the death of his best friend, the passing of his beloved grandmother, and devastation following the tragic accident that took the life of his father. However, the irreparable damage caused by the initial trauma at the young age of 14 burdened him through his last day. If you, or someone you love, is struggling, please seek help. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, confidential support to people in suicidal crisis or mental health-related distress. By calling or texting 988, you’ll connect to mental health professionals with the Lifeline network.
Survivors include his mother, Becky, of the home; two brothers: Zacary “Zac” Becker at Coffeyville Community College in Coffeyville, and Drew Becker of the home; grandparents: Wayne and Vickie Finger of Powhattan and Robert “Bob” Becker and Paula of Everest, KS, numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, and cherished friends.
Toby was preceded in death by his father Matt on May 7, 2020, and by his grandmother Kay Robinson Becker, August 18, 2017.
A Parish Vigil/Celebration of Toby’s Life will be held at 6:00 P.M. Monday, December 19th, at St. Thomas More Catholic Church, 2900 Kimball Avenue, Manhattan, KS.
Mass of the Christian Burial will be held at 10:30 a.m. Tuesday, December 20th, at St. Thomas More Catholic Church with Father Frank Coady as Celebrant. Cremation will follow the service. The family will have a private inurnment at St. Mary’s Catholic Cemetery in Purcell, KS at a later date.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in Toby’s honor may be made payable to the Toby Becker Memorial Fund and left in care of the Yorgensen-Meloan-Londeen Funeral Home, 1616 Poyntz Avenue, Manhattan, KS 66502. Intentions are to apply contributions to establish a baseball scholarship fund, to make a donation to the Rock Creek Diamond Club, and for suicide prevention efforts and mental health services.